First, you have to fast for a minimum of 12 hours (note: for a pregnant woman, this can be very miserable, especially if you threw up your food prior to the 12 hour starting point like I did).
Second, you have to go into a lab first thing in the morning...this means, no breakfast...and more waiting.
Third, you get stabbed with a needle and lots of blood drawn.
Fourth (depending on doctor orders), they make you pee in a cup.
Fifth, you get to drink this disgustingly sweet orange beverage which is usually at room temperature...in ten minutes or less.
Sixth, you have to wait one hour and then get your blood drawn...again.
Seventh, you have to wait ANOTHER hour and get your blood drawn...yet again.
Finally, if you are lucky...they will release you so you can finally go have something to eat.
But sometimes, things go wrong...like with my test. Here is how my test went:
First, I threw up my dinner so I went 13+ hours of not eating anything prior to this test so I was in a pretty pissy mood to begin with. Then, I went in and had to wait 45minutes until my name was called. I finally got back where I had the first prick and then the lab tech handed me that lovely cup that they expect you to pee in. So, after going into the bathroom and doing my business, I sat in the waiting room for another 15minutes when another lab tech brought me the lovely orange drink and explained to me that I had to drink it in under ten minutes (I did this same test with my daughter, so I knew it would be gross, but that is all I expected). I checked the time and started to drink. I ended up guzzling down the room-temperature orange syrup soda like liquid within about 8minutes. The minute I stood up to take the bottle back to the tech, I felt a wave of nausea rush over me like a gust of wind. I handed the tech the bottle and ran to the water fountain where I proceeded to guzzle down as much water as I could. Then I sat back in the waiting room. My head started to pound and I could feel my heart begin to race. I put my head between my knees and everything started to go black.
When I finally could realize what was going on, I was lying in a very uncomfortable bed (you know, those doctor beds with the stupid paper on them), and I was hooked up to a blood pressure cuff and had the oxygen/heart monitor on my finger. There was a nurse standing next to me asking me if she could take my glucose levels. I nodded and looked over at the monitor where my heart beat was going around 120 beats per minute and my blood pressure was 144/99. The nurse poked my finger several times and then looked at me and said "I best see if the doctor needs to come in. How do you feel?" I was actually feeling better, except for the pounding headache. I told her that I was alright, but my head was hurting. She said, "Well, your glucose level is 195, so I better check with the doctor just in case." I handed her my ID card and off she went.
She returned a bit later and said that the doctor said that I needed to be monitored for a bit, but if my symptoms returned, he would come and examine me. So, I there I was, half sitting up, half lying down. My back aching now from the position and I was in and out of sleep. An hour and 20minutes after I drank the drink, the lab tech came in a drew more blood. He told me he would be back in another hour.
Shortly thereafter, the nurse returned and told me that if I was feeling better I could go back and sit in the waiting room. I told her yes just so I could get out of the lousy position I was stuck in. I sat there in the waiting room and at my two hour mark, the lab tech walked out and called me back to take the final sample. When he was finished, he handed me his pen and said, "Here, I hope your day gets better...go get some food. You can keep the pen." I thanked him and immediately went over to Subway and got a BLT.
As soon as I had consumed the sandwich, I felt better. My body seemed to return to normal completely except for the minor stomach cramps which I am still having. It doesn't seem to have anything to do with the baby, more of a digestion thing. I think it might be gas from that stupid drink trying to work its way through my body still.
So, in the end, I got a free pen for my reaction to the test. At least I got something for free.
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